I live in motion. Sometimes I wake up and my heart is beating so fast that it’s as though I have been running in my dreams. I often do.
Throughout my day there are many times that I find myself literally running (well now it’s fast wobbling with knees worn by time and abuse). I am that crazy lady turning the corner in the grocery store so tight in my attempt to keep up with myself that I may have ran my buggy into you (I’m sorry if I did).
As fast as my body would like to go, my kinetic mind sometimes seems such a frenzy of thoughts that I have to record them so as to retain them for revisiting when time is not so cramped. Will it ever not be cramped? As day settles into night, I can feel my brain cells powering down. They want to keep going but they just can’t. My husband, Scott, knows not to attempt a deep conversation with me then because I need this time to shut down to prepare me for sleep.
However, it is then that my body begins to revolt. While some may experience Restless Leg Syndrome, I believe that I have Restless Body Syndrome. As I grow weary my bones begin to itch and I can only scratch them with movement. I go twitchy, jerky, jumpy into the night. Scott holds my foot to keep from getting kicked when sleep overcomes me and yet my body is not done. I have even kicked a hole in my sheet.
I have tried many techniques to calm this inner need for activity. I guess that I am meant for this life in motion. Even in prayer I find myself doing all of the talking and even though I try, I can’t just be still and listen. So, when God needs to speak to me, he catches me by surprise with a whisper, a touch, an impression spoken directly to my heart.
Today, I am still. I don’t know why. I am still.
I lay on a blanket in the grass. The heat of the earth emanating up through the blanket while the sun is shifting just enough that its presence is known but not unbearable in its warmth. My dog Harper lays by my side, one front leg placed over my ankle. Is this so that she may know my presence or that I may know hers? I don’t know. It is comforting.
I gaze at the sky. I see a bird pass slowly over head. It is a hawk looking for prey. It is mesmerizing as I see it catch thermals that lift it gently. I wait for its wings to carry it away, but it seems like minutes before a solitary, gentle movement is detected.
My gaze wanders to a set of wispy clouds that are forming over me. I become transfixed as they touch each other as though exchanging a gentle kiss and then change shapes as they drift away. Young lovers forever changed by the warmth of their first kiss. The longer I watch these clouds, my imagination catches fire. Is that a star, a bear, a cross, or an angel? I am delighting in this simple game.
Soon, however, I notice that they are gathering. I see these wispy clouds drift towards each other as if pulled together and are bound by an invisible thread. They become dense and rise higher in the sky and I recognize the beginning of a storm cloud forming.
I am still. Then God spoke, “This is my creation and I created it for connection.”
Sometimes I write what I think, sometimes I write what I feel, and sometimes I write what I believe God speaks. I know it is the latter in this case because this message, this Post, this truth came to me at once, from beginning to end. I just can’t do that on my own.
Each of those clouds forming all had something in common, the simple molecule, H20. Two hydrogen atoms and an oxygen molecule forever bound by covalent links. Depending on its form, each molecule is bound to three or four others to form clusters of connection. Patterns of connection are found throughout the physical world and humanity in its hubris declares victory when they identify this intimate relationship between the world we see and the world we discover.
Atoms are held together by a perfect relationship between the charge of an electron and the mass of a proton. The Watson and Crick DNA model are two strands woven and connected, a tango of motion connected between two dancers.
Gravitational pull and other Laws of Nature point towards the Creator God, creating a world of connection. I look to the number pi (3.14159) and see an equation discovered by Greek mathematicians when they divided the circumference of a circle by its diameter. I also see this number in equations describing light, subatomic particles, and others which are not related to these Greek mathematicians or even a circle. How can we not look to Creator God for these invisible connections that we know and are yet to “discover”?
What about the Chaos Theory? By its name, one might believe something is chaotic, random, not connected, however, in truth it is anything but. The Chaos theory is “an interdisciplinary theory stating that, within the apparent randomness of chaotic complex systems, there are underlying patterns, interconnectedness constant feedback loops, repetition, self-similarity, fractals, and self-organization.” [i]
If we want to look towards the unnatural splitting of connection, we have to look no further than the atom bombs whose very energy and destructive force is caused by the splitting of an atom or nuclear fission. Much like this, the unnatural fission and fusion of a hydrogen atom results in a thermonuclear explosion.
You may be asking yourself by this point, “what does this have to do with a girl (this is a euphemism as I am long beyond being called a girl), a dog, and the clouds in the sky?”
The answer is everything! God in that moment of stillness was telling me that His world, His earth, His creation is designed for connectedness.
We are a part of His design. In fact, He states that we are made in His image. True connection with God begins by seeing His hand in His creation and I almost missed it in my life of motion. True connection with God and others is what we were meant. When we find ourselves wandering, struggling, distant, searching, we are unknowingly yearning to connect to the fullness of God and of others.
This world that we, WE, are allowing to happen is not a part of God’s plan or God’s judgement. It is an opportunity for us to yearn for the very things for which we were created. That deep pit in our hearts that can’t be filled with anything else in the world is seeking the One who fills.
It is also a time to connect to things that matter. Our bonds that have been broken one by one must be tended to. We must find ways to grab our fellow Hydrogens and bond to our Oxygen, who is God. Then as water let us cluster together in sets of three and see what we can do. Have you ever seen the power of water? It cuts through solid rock. It moves mountains. It can move the shore and set the sea.
We are a part of the natural world and therefore if we are to align with our physical law of creation then we must learn how to connect, with Him and with others. Our very existence depends upon it.I jump up, no longer still. I live in motion. I cannot wait to share with you what God spoke…
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Wow! So much to ponder. I ,too ,believe we are all inter connected with everyone and everything but especially to our God. You have such a gift… keep sharing… Terri
Thank you Terri and I look so forward to our visit!
you write so beautifully. to me Christ is the oneness of all things. fr richard rohr uses the word relationship for connectedness. God is everywhere and in all things.
i thought you did yoga?
I do yoga and interestingly it was one of the times, where my mind slows enough to hear God. Thank God because otherwise it is on full speed ahead!
This is beautiful Dr Pam you’re a big blessing to this generation
Your encouraging words of wisdom and love towards the church of Christ is a such big pillar of God’s kingdom.
Africa loves you Pam and your family ❤️ bless you
Thank you William and I can’t wait to get back to my second home country, beautiful Rwanda!