I shared last week the peace and confidence my patient had as she accepted her imminent death. Her words, “It’s okay, it will be a good death”, both haunted me and comforted me. Her confidence in her destination gave her courage.
I prayed that I would exhibit the same courage that is forged through great faith. Little did I know, my test would arrive the next night.
I was working at the hospital one long day that began early and ended late. I had just left a family who were saying their goodbyes to their beloved matriarch. I called my husband as I settled in for the forty-five minute drive home.
“I am so very tired, I will probably go straight to bed when I get home. Please give our guest my apology.”
I approached the familiar sign of my highway exit, and thought, “Ahhhh, I will be home soon.”
The next moments were a blur – tumbling images like jump cuts in an action movie. First silver, then black, then my repeated thoughts, “What happened? What happened?”
I only knew I was crashing. At the time it felt as if an airplane had dropped from the sky and landed upon my car. Upon reflection, I don’t recall hearing any noise. I just remember having clear thoughts. This is bad, but it will be a good death. No fear. I am ready. I am okay! This was followed by more impacts and a sensation of spinning. It seemed endless, until my car finally came to a stop.
I got my bearings, surveyed my situation, and (with some definite disappointment) announced out loud, “This is not heaven!” I did a quick assessment of my shaking body and determined that everything was intact. I had not yet arrived at my final destination. I had been in a severe two-car accident, both cars totaled, mine barely recognizable. And yet no one had been killed! Though I suffered a severe concussion and a fractured TMJ (jaw joint) that would need surgery later, I walked away. How is it possible that I am walking away? In the same instant, I knew the answer: Because it is not yet my time or my hour.
I wonder if I was meant to experience those moments, which I briefly thought were my last, so that I would know that I am prepared for a good death. The crash reminded me of the ancient words of King David.
“Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered, how fleeting my life is.”
Psalm 39:4
King David’s words about life being fleeting are undeniably true. Have you had a similar experience? Perhaps you have not been in a car accident but rather had a serious illness or even serious turbulence while flying. Have you had a brush with mortality that made you ponder such thoughts?
Are you prepared to die?
That moment—and many others like it—inspired me to write my book, Anticipating Heaven. It’s both a spiritual invitation and a practical guide to help you or your loved ones face mortality with calm, clarity, and hope.
And if you’re just starting this journey, the Planning for Peace Checklist is a free tool I created to help reduce chaos and replace fear with purpose. You don’t need to be in crisis to prepare.
Here with you and for you,
Dr. Pamela Prince Pyle
