Dr Pamela Prince Pyle

I’m Okay, I’m Not Okay

Last week I shared the beauty of endings and why they matter. This week we celebrated a new day, a new year, a new…? We can fill in the blanks with so many options of what we hope to be new, and we call them resolutions. 

When I thought of the word resolution, I remembered this post that I made at the beginning of 2022 and thought I would reshare. I could not have known how the end of the year would differ from its beginning. I could not have known that a surgery in February would bring hope. I could not have known that today, and every day, I praise God for the ability to walk, a simple thing until it’s taken away. 

Yet while the dawn of 2024 brings new hope (and new challenges) than 2022, the notion to live each day as a new year is timeless and may speak to your circumstances. 

I’m Okay, I’m Not Okay

(Original January 2022)

I love new beginnings. Today, we celebrate a new year with hope for less tragedy, less suffering, less loss. New Year’s Days fill us with expectation to do better and be better. The possibilities are endless. Yes, this will be our year!!!

As I wrote that, my mind wondered, “But what if it’s not?” 

During the past year I have had five major surgeries and have needed a wheelchair, crutches, or a cane. Pain has become an unwanted yet faithful companion.

“Will I be okay if this year is unchanged?” I ponder. “Do I need to make a new year’s resolution to be okay if I’m not okay?” 

Having failed at new year resolutions so often in the past, I stopped making them. However, as I am writing, I thought of composing a resolution to be okay. 

“Wow, that is surely setting myself up for failure.” I laugh to myself. “I’m not okay right now and we are only into the first 24 hours of 2022!”

I reflect on this truth and realize that I was due for a hard reset. However, knowing myself, rather than set myself up for the slow fade of my old new year resolutions, I am choosing to only have one.

Today, I choose to be as okay as I can and thankful for whatever amount that happens to be. Tomorrow will be a new year too. In fact, each of the next 365 days are new year days and can be filled with new hopes, new resolves, and new grace. 

I pray that as you consider your new year that you give yourself grace and acceptance no matter what you resolved for today. I pray that for myself as well. 

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